lolaagasm:

I held my breath for you and waited.

But you were nowhere to be found. So I listened to songs men wrote, that women sang, about broken hearts. And I cried, because I couldn’t sing-along.

I watched a movie and learned all the lines, I’ll recite them to you, when you ask me to come back.

There…

This girl is at once all the women that broke my heart.

She’s so beautiful and generous and she’s asking me to leave.

She’s dumping me. She’s dumping me because I am a cheap drug dealer.

And I am a drug dealer because she wants me to leave.

The police are going to get me now.

This is all my fault.

• Me: Hey bud. Whatcha doooin?
• Toby: ...can I give him food?
• Me: Sure.
• Toby: (Sticks his arm inside the tank).
• Me: (I pick him up) EEEeesy there Lenny! You rascal.
• Toby: (Laughs historically).
• He thought what he did was funniest thing in the world. But I like to imagine that he was laughing because he understood my Of Mice and Men reference, he's that cool.

Music sounds better at at 4:50 a.m in the morning.
It sounds like my first kiss,
my first love,
It sounds brand new.

Nobody loves me,
Nobody cares,
Nobody picks me peaches and pears.
Nobody offers me candy and Cokes,
Nobody listens and laughs at my jokes.
Nobody helps when I get in a fight,
Nobody does all my homework at night.
Nobody misses me,
Nobody cries,
Nobody thinks I’m a wonderful guy.
So if you ask me who’s my best friend, in a whiz,
I’ll stand up and tell you that Nobody is.
But yesterday night I got quite a scare,
I woke up and Nobody just wasn’t there.
I called out and reached out for Nobody’s hand,
In the darkness where Nobody usually stands.
Then I poked through the house, in each cranny and nook,
But I found somebody each place that I looked.
I searched till I’m tired, and now with the dawn,
There’s no doubt about it
Nobody’s gone!

By Shel Silverstien